When did we stop trusting in the experiences of those around us?
This is a question that I find myself asking more and more lately.
Why is it so often, when we are faced with someone telling us about a negative experience or struggle they have endured, that our first reaction is unapologetic skepticism? Especially if we ourselves have not experienced first hand what it is they are describing.
So often I hear or read stories about someone who has been mistreated, and what usually follows in the conversation or comments section are questions about whether or not the experience really happened. Or if it happened the way the narrator has told it. Or people questioning what that person may have done to CAUSE it to happen to them. (I mean, what!?!?)
Or I will read stories from minorities and women about injustices and inequalities and I can barely stand to keep scrolling because I know what awaits me is a long list of people clamoring to discredit their narrative by explaining how this particular injustice did not happen because it isn’t happening to them personally. Or they don’t know someone who has experienced this.
Women discrediting other women who claim to be treated unfairly in the workplace because they themselves have not been treated unfairly in THEIR workplace.
People invalidating racial injustice with the rationale that the human being experiencing it must have done something to cause it. Even though the person’s story tells otherwise…
So my question is, “When did we stop trusting the journeys and experiences of our fellow human beings?“
Has it always been this way? Have we always met the trials and tribulations of our fellow-man with cynicism and distrust?
How much better off would we be in our ability to come together, work together and find peace if when we were met with a story we haven’t experienced, a story that might make us uncomfortable to hear, we start by saying, “Wow! I have never experienced what you are talking about. Tell me more about it so that I can understand?”
How great is the potential if we received and heard that answer before we passed judgement?
If we made the person who is likely struggling feel heard. And loved. And understood.
And what if we took it one step further. What if once we stopped and listened to each other, we then asked what we could do to help? What if we asked them what they needed? What if we stepped in and filled that need if we are able? The way Jesus called us to.
John 13:34 tells us, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.“
The world can be such a hard place at times. We could do so much to soften it simply by learning to trust in the experiences of those around us. To seek to understand and not judge. To be the light in a dark place.
So my promise to those that I encounter along the way in MY journey is this: my first response to you in any given situation will always be, “Tell me more. Help me understand. What can I do?”
Ask. Understand. Help.
So simple. So life changing.
Let’s be the light ❤